au revoir

Yesterday was my last full day in Marseille. Today I'm going to go to the train station in Marseille and take the train to Paris along with the rest of the AFSers from PACA who are going to the end of stay orientation. Tonight will be spent with AFSers from all over france. Tomorrow morning, at the crack of dawn, The other Americans and I will head to the airport to catch our flight back to New York. I will then take a flight back home.

Remember those posts back in August? Where I was just too sad to leave my home? Well this one is going to be very similar. Marseille has become chez moi. I don't want to leave it! Granted, I have had quite a few perks...you know, like living in walking distance from the beach, having one of the nicest parks in Marseille right next to my house, the beautiful weather...but it's not just the superficial things which I'm going to miss about Marseille. Over the past ten months Marseille has become my home. I finally learned which exit goes where at the metro stop in the old port. I know how to get around the city by bus, by metro, by foot and by car. I've made some of the best friends of my life here and I know that we'll stay in contact. I have another mother who will hug me when I need it.

Sometimes I don't know what I'm going to do when I get back. Will I just go back to my day to day life? I don't think so...I could never just forget an experience like this. I really grown up this year. I've changed so much. I'm no longer that little girl who said goodbye to all she knew last August. They say that coming back will be an adjustment "that can sometimes be difficult". I believe them...It's just hard to imagine being back home when here in Marseille it's also my home.

Where did the time go? Its funny...I seem to remember saying just last week that is was so sad "I only have six weeks left." How did that change from six weeks to a couple of hours so quickly? There was a while where I wasn't ready to go home, but that feeling has passed. It's not that I don't want to go home, I just don't want to leave...does that make sense?

As usual, I'll leave you with some pictures. These are a few snapshots of the visit from my brother and his girlfriend.

La France va me manquer. Il y a tant des qui m'ont vraiment touchés, et je ne les oublierai jamais. Il y aura toujours une place dans mon coeur pour Marseille et tout le monde qui m'ont accueilli chaleureusement. 

My going away party

School's out!

That's right everyone, school's officially finished (but not forgetting that little thing in less than two weeks called the BAC).

Usually at the end of a school year I'm one hundred percent ready for summer. Here, it's not exactly the same thing. From the work standpoint, I'm one hundred and fifty percent ready for summer, but on the other hand it means that I won't see most of the kids in my class. The feeling on the last day of classes was one of tight throated, small smile while the people who helped me all year long wished me a "bon retour aux états unis" and told me "tu me manqueras".

The 1ereS3

Vous me manquerez tous! I'll never forget how you helped me when I was lost in class, made me laugh with your crazy antics at the most inappropriate times, encouraged me when I thought I couldn't do it, and welcomed me graciously to the 1ereS3. Thank you for an amazing year. 

 “Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?”

                                                                    -Unknown

Goodbyes being said, I walked home in low spirits to find my train ticket to Paris for the end of program orientation waiting for me on the table. Everything's happening too fast! I still have one month left, and I'm going to make the most of it. The beautiful weather is calling, and I have some of the best friends in the world to pass the days with. 


These last few weeks won't go to waste. 

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes.  A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.  And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

                                                                    -Richard Bach

And as usual, I'll leave you with some pictures :)

Our AFS PACA volunteer Timour's going away party

A day at the pool with Marie and Mélanie 

and Axelle! :)

Before I left for France I found it impossible to imagine that in such a short time I would be leaving to go to a foreign country for a whole year. I feel a little bit like that right now. Not only do I find it utterly impossible to imagine that I'm going to be back in the United States in less than two months, but it also seems like I'm going to another foreign country. The two months mark came and went without leaving me time to fully comprehend the magnitude of what it means.

In about a month and a half I will no longer be in France. With almost all of my friends and family here in France, the subject has become taboo. We just don't talk about it because it's too sad to think about. I know I'll come back, but visiting isn't the same thing as living the French life.

I've really come to love this country and I haven't even had the chance to explore it in it's entirety. I'm going to be coming back to visit for the rest of my life.

With that all said, it's not over yet! I still have time left to really take advantage of my experience. School is almost over (June 10th) and the weather is gorgeous! I'm living the life with the sun and a high of 80's every day.

I've also taken advantage of the nice weather to do some traveling and see some friends and family. Since the last time I updated I've visited with my older brother, sister-in-law and niece, I've been to the French Alps, traveled back up to Paris to visit some friends from home, took a trip to Corsica, and spent a mini-vacation in St. Tropez.

Here's the proof :)

Lucy, Laura and me in Cassis

Ice Cream with Lucy and Eben in Cassis

Hiking in the Alps!

Reunion in the middle of Paris!

The view from a hike in Corsica

Jumping around in Bonifacio, Corsica

Emma and me in Corsica

The Statue of Liberty! There's a carnival at school where everyone dresses up, and this was my costume.

La Bravade de St. Tropez.
 Each year, St. Tropez has their "fête du village" where they celebrate their history. It's a different St. Tropez than I had imagined or seen before. All of the Tropeziens dress up in the old provençal costumes. It's like we took a trip back in time. 

La Bravade de St. Tropez

Here's a video of last years Bravade. It'll give you an idea of what it's like. You'll see small bouquets on the shoulders of the soldiers. Nicoles family is the last family in the town who make the bouquets, so we spent the day before the bravade making bouquets for the town. They then got sent to the church to be blessed. Folklore has it that if you keep your bouquet for the whole year, it'll bring you good luck. On the other hand, you can't throw it out until you have one from next year, and you can't throw the old one in the trash. It has to be thrown to sea or burned. 

In the next month and a half, I expect that I'll be even busier than the last! Imagine that!

Top 5 lessons France has taught me (in no particular order)

1. How big the world really is.

You know how they say that it's such a small world? Well, don't believe them. The world is enormous, and I want to see every single bit of it. I want to be able to travel and experience the world, the cultures, the customs. I wonder how I'm ever going to find the time to do all this traveling, which brings me to my next point.

2. Take every single opportunity. 

If each time I was too scared, too tired or had too much homework I turned down the chance to hang out with friends, go to the movies, go grocery shopping with Nicole or take a walk in the park, I would have missed out on so much here. Even if I was exhausted in the beginning, I said yes to everything. Not only did it help me with my french, but it created great memories too. When I had to make the choice between two things, I learned to look at my options and see which one would be a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I took that one even if it wasn't always the most fun at the time. By doing this, I got to experience so many things that I would have never seen, I guess you could say I "explored" the french culture.

3. Remember that thing that you spent forever worrying about 2 weeks ago? No? Well neither do I. That's because it didn't matter.

I waste so much energy on little things. I'm a worrier, but I've realized this year that those things that I worry about generally aren't worth the energy. Things are going to be ok, and I just have to learn to trust that. That doesn't mean I can just stand back and watch things turn out perfectly on their own, it means that I can just transfer the energy (yeah, throwing some physics in there) from worrying to actually solving the problem

4. Change happens.

People change, and I'm included. When I left home this year, I thought that when I would return everything would be the same. I think I realized that wasn't true when I saw that I changed as well. It wouldn't be fair for me to hold my life back home to the standard of not changing that I didn't live up to. Change happens, and that can be a good thing. Maybe I didn't change as much as I grew up, but I'm sure that I'm not the same little girl as the one who left home in September, and that's ok. 

5. Give yourself some slack, because perfect doesn't exist. 

Easier said than done, especially for me. I'm a diagnosed perfectionist, but if there's one thing I've learned from the french is that perfect doesn't exist. It's impossible to get a perfect score at school, because if you have a 20/20 it means that your perfect, and for them that's impossible. So, if I don't have the best grades in the class (which I don't), it's OK! I hold myself to an impossibly high standard, and if I don't succeed, I beat myself up about it. So I just need to cut myself some slack and relax, after all I don't hold others to standards like that. 

Alright, I'm done for now, but in the meantime here are some photos of the past month or so!

PARIS!

PARIS!

PARIS!

Fellow Mainers in Paris

                          

PARIS


             

Waffles in Belgium

England!

Manchester United

Joyeux St. Valentin!

It's been a a little while since the last time I posted, so here goes!

I feel like I'm really settled in now. France is now "chez moi" and I'm not at all excited to change that. There are times when I forget that I'm in France, or rather everything has become so routine that it's no big deal to be living in France. Every once in a while, it'll hit me that I'm in France. I'm living my dream. Usually though, I go about my day like any other "french" 17-year-old.  I go to school, come home, do my homework, complain about doing homework, chat with with friends in class when we're not supposed to, go out on the weekends and just have teenage fun in general. I'm doing things that I would be doing at home, so just because I'm in France doesn't mean life stops. My hair still grows and I still need to go to the hairdresser, there's still homework that always needs to be done and I still watch the evening news every night. I still do normal people things! To me, this fact is comforting. It means that I'm doing all of these normal people things, but in French. That's a nice feeling.

Next topic of business: "fluentness". So, I feel like I can say that I am officially bilingual. This, however, doesn't mean that I don't make mistakes...I do, all the time. It means that I'm at the point where I understand nearly everything that comes my way, and I can make myself understood with very little effort. I like to think there are different levels of "fluentness"and I'm still pretty low on the scale, but hey, I'm on the scale. It's an awesome feeling (though rather annoying) to have translate phrases from French to English when writing my blog.

I must go, but I'll leave all of you some french scenery.

Côte d'Azur

First sign of spring: daffodils!

Marseille sunset

Hey everyone!

Here's a quick wrap-up of everything that happened after Christmas!

Marcelo, another AFSer in France from Brazil came to Marseille for the second week of vacation. We did some tourism around Marseille, a day in Monaco, and a day in Cassis.

Emma, Marcelo and me in Cassis

Julianna, Marcelo, Emma and me in Monaco

I spent the new year in the Vieux Port (old port) in Marseille. Marcello, Emma, my friends Roxane and a couple other friends went out to dinner at a nice little restaurant in Marseille. After, we spent the countdown at an Irish pub right on the port. It was great to have an exhilarating atmosphere. Everyone around was celebrating and our group of about fifteen was no different. At midnight, tout le mond a fait des bisous (everyone kissed both cheeks) and we all wished each other a "Bonne Année" good health, humour and numerous other good things. It's tradition in the US to kiss your significant other at midnight, but I was surprised to find that it's not a big deal here in France. It was more of everyone wishing everyone a happy new year with the bisous than sharing a special moment with a special someone.

The Vieux Port at midnight

A little bit after midnight, we went to a party to ring in the new year. It was pretty odd to think that here it was already 2011 while there were still hours to go back home until they were in the new decade as well. 

Sorry to be so brief, but more will come soon :)

Fêtes de Noël!

After my birthday party, Julianna stayed in Marseille through Wednesday. On tuesday, Julianna, Emma and I went to Aix-En-Provence and met up with some other AFSers! I can never express how amazing it is to be with the other AFS PACA students. I don't know how common it is to be incredibly close with all the students in your region, but the ten of us  form what we like to call "awesome-groupness." Whenever I see our PACA group, I feel renewed and like I can keep going when I'm feeling down. We understand exactly what the others are going through, and because of that we've bonded so quickly, and I know I'll have this awesome-groupness for life.

In Aix, we ate lunch together and spent the day enjoying the great christmas atmosphere, shopping, and just talking about everything that had happened since the last time we had seen each other. We even had time to take a ride on the carousel!

Julianna and me on the Carousel!

On Wednesday Julianna left for Nice, and Thursday Emma and I went to la patinoire (the ice rink) together with some of her friends! It was the first time I'd been to the ice rink since March 2010, and I felt so free. It's been really hard to not have hockey as an outlet this year, so to finally be on the ice again meant that I was finally back in my rightful place. I can't explain how good it felt to be able to just leave everything behind and skate for a couple hours. 

In France, Christmas Eve is sometimes just as big as Christmas day. In the morning, I went over to Tashina's to helo with the preparations for the feast that night. I got the task of decorating les bonhommes en pain d'épice. 

Hard at work!

les bonhommes :)

That afternoon I prepared for the next day by wrapping all of the presents. It was the one occasion throughout the holidays where the nostalgie really hit me. I realized that I would be doing the exact same thing at home, wrapping presents for my family in my room and making sure that anyone didn't come in. Here, I realized that I was wrapping presents for a different family, and it made me realize how lucky I am. I not only am able to have this amazing experience, but I'm going to come away from it with not only one, but two families who love me. Despite the moment of sadness, I finished the task of wrapping the presents with a smile on my face. 

We finished the night off with a big Christmas Eve dinner at Greg and Tashina's. The night started off with champagne and foie gras (yeah, I'm definitely in France). Foie gras is very traditional for the holidays. Since I was the youngest there, I was given the task of toasting the bread for les tartines.

After appetizers, came the traditional Christmas Eve meal: raw oysters, and raw shellfish in general. Since I'm here to try new things, I dug right in! I ate two whole raw oysters! I was pretty proud. They're definitely an acquired taste. Luckily, Tashina, who is a vegetarian, made a soup and happily gave me some (I'm pretty sure she made extra knowing that that would be the case).

After dinner Béatrice, Tashina and I went to a Midnight Mass. It was definitely a night of firsts! Church at midnight in French didn't make for a good combination for understanding what was going on, but it was still really nice to see everyone in the Christmas sweaters and sing along to the somewhat familiar Christmas songs that were in French instead of English (imagine that!). 

The small street with the church at the end

On Christmas day, Nicole and I went to Tashina and Greg's around noon for presents and dinner. Dinner was just like Thanksgiving! We had a turkey, stuffing (though it was the french kind), gravy, cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes; all of which was absolutely delicious. 

Though I followed different traditions from my own, I had an amazing Christmas, and every day I am thankful that I have the chance to experience all of this in france.